NeuroDivergent Relationships Podcast with Kathy Marshack, Ph.D.

Sequins, Sob-Stories, and Silicon Valley: Poppy and the Myth of the Proper Autistic Woman

If you’ve been told that autistic women can’t lead, command a room, or inspire a crowd, this episode is for you.
 
Dr. Kathy Marshack dives into the "myth of the proper autistic woman" through the lens of a fictional, yet deeply resonant character: Poppy Lee from Apple TV’s Mythic Quest. We break down the iconic "Sequins and Sob-stories" speech, a moment of total, unmasked vulnerability that didn't just earn applause, but started a revolution. 
 
We explore the brilliant strategy behind Poppy’s "messiness," the exhausting reality of "bro culture" in Silicon Valley, and why the most powerful thing a neurodiverse woman can do is say: "Here I am. Take it or leave it." 
 
Whether you are a woman in tech, a parent of a one-of-a-kind daughter, or a professional trying to bridge the gap, join us as we celebrate the marvelous, unpolished truth of the NeuroDiverse heart.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

H.H. The Dissembler: Why Some People Collapse Instead of Grow

In this episode, Dr. Marshack takes us deep into the Radiant Empathy universe to introduce two pivotal archetypes: H.H. The Dissembler and Number One, the Engineer of Empathy. 
 
When one partner in a NeuroDivergent relationship begins to expand into their authentic self, the other often reaches a crossroads. We explore why some adults "dismantle" what they cannot comprehend (routines, plans, and emotional intimacy), not out of malice, but because they lack the internal scaffolding to grow. 
 
Contrast this with "Number One," the archetype of the adult who bravely constructs the internal structures needed for reciprocal connection. Learn why you cannot "save" a partner who is in developmental collapse, how to recognize which trajectory your partner is on, and why your own internal compass is the only guide you need to rise into the life calling you.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

What Kokomo Knows: Witnessing Without Words

We often spend our lives over-explaining, over-accommodating, and performing just to feel like we belong. But what if your presence alone was an invitation?
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack looks to her dog, Kokomo, as a master teacher of "Witnessing Without Words." Kokomo doesn’t bark for attention or negotiate his worth; he simply positions himself where connection can occur and trusts that he will be seen. 
 
Dr. Marshack explores why this embodied way of being resonates so deeply with the NeuroDiverse mind, which often finds the "theatrical" social world of humans exhausting, and why NeuroTypical partners so often lose their "spine" by trying to be louder or smaller to stay connected. 
 
Discover how to move from a lens of control to a lens of trust, and why the most powerful form of witnessing requires no words at all.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Witnessing: Why Empathy Alone is Not Enough

Have you ever had a moment where you didn’t need advice, a reframe, or a strategy—you just needed someone to see that what you were experiencing was real?
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack introduces a concept that has become the "glue" of her work: Witnessing. While the Empathy Triad provides the structure for understanding, witnessing is what integrates that understanding into a lived wisdom. 
 
Dr. Marshack explores why highly empathic people often spend their lives witnessing others while remaining unseen themselves, and she shares the surprising way her "After Parties" evolved into unstructured, relational "After-After Parties." 
 
Learn why insight alone doesn't change lives, why "presence without agenda" is the ultimate healing tool, and how you can stop trying to understand your life alone and start letting it be seen.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Hidden Tragedy of Autistic Women and Over-accommodation

While Autistic boys are often allowed to be the "eccentric nerds," autistic girls face a much harsher social reality: they must look and behave exactly like NeuroTypical girls or risk total social exile.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack uncovers the hidden tragedy of Autistic women who mask so well they fall into a dangerous trap of over-accommodation. From the woman who would work 15 hours a day for no credit to the 45-year-old suffering from severe hair loss due to a demanding boss, we explore the profound physical and emotional cost of "pretending to be normal." 
 
We also discuss the often-ignored link between Autism and hormonal regulation issues like PMDD. This episode is a call to action to help autistic women recognize their own needs, set firm boundaries, and stop the cycle of people-pleasing that leads to total system burnout.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

From Collapse to Growth: Becoming Empathy Triad Engaged

What happens after the system of masking collapses? For many, it feels like the end, but Dr. Marshack argues it is actually where the real work of the relationship begins.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack shares a profound letter from Richard, a NeuroDiverse husband in his 70s who has embraced his "EMD 0" status not as an excuse, but as a starting point for genuine growth. You will learn the 7-Step Interface Protocol, a roadmap designed to help both NeuroTypical and NeuroDiverse partners navigate the aftermath of a collapse. 
 
From building resilience to becoming "Empathy Triad Engaged," this episode provides the vocabulary and the framework needed to move from transactional behavior to a rebuilt, authentic life. As Richard reminds us: "Autism is not an excuse."
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Collapse of Masking

We often hear "unmasking" described as a liberating and joyful journey toward the authentic self. But for many in NeuroDivergent relationships, unmasking feels like a devastating collapse.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack uses General Systems Theory to explain why masking is a system "doomed to fail" as we mature. Masking works by managing bits of data, but it lacks the context sensitivity required for deep relational intimacy and complex life stages. When this system fails, triggered by burnout, retirement, or a partner's withdrawal, the result isn't always freedom; it is often depression, rage, and a sensation of the "brain on fire." 
 
Learn why transactional behavior cannot sustain a long-term partnership and discover the tools needed to move from a "meltdown that lasts for years" to a rebuilt, authentic life.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Why Regulated People Find Each Other Even Across the Miles

For many NeuroDivergent families, the holidays are less about joy and more about managing the "offline" state of the brain. When anxiety rises, thinking disappears—for both NeuroTypical and NeuroDiverse partners alike.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack shifts the focus from "fixing" symptoms to the power of regulation. She shares why regulated people tend to find each other across continents and why distance often clarifies rather than weakens a bond. 
 
You will learn the difference between mere survival and true "organization," why growth sometimes has a velocity that love struggles to match, and what it truly means to have a "spine" in your relationship. 
 
If you’re looking for deeper resonance in your community, this episode offers a roadmap for staying thoughtful under pressure and reclaiming your own nervous system.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Getting Under Their Skin: Why Your Light Provokes Their Shadow

Have you ever been "cancelled" or found yourself the target of an obsessive smear campaign?
 
In this episode, Dr. Kathy Marshack explores why some people react with such hostility to your presence, your truth, and your refusal to conform. Using the analogy of "Flying Monkeys" from The Wizard of Oz, she explains how toxic people recruit others to validate a version of reality where you are the problem. 
 
Dr. Marshack shares raw, personal examples of how she has lived "rent-free" in the heads of those who tried to erase her for decades—and why she now sees that obsession as a sign of her own power. 
 
If you’ve been told you’re "too much," this episode is your invitation to stop shrinking and start recognizing that the stronger the resistance, the closer you are to something meaningful.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Walk Up the Hill When Safety Isn't Enough

In this episode, Dr. Marshack dives into a raw and often unnamed aspect of Survivor's Guilt: the difference between providing physical safety and creating a felt sense of safety for those we love.
 
Through the story of her dog, Kokomo, and her friend Janine, Dr. Marshack reflects on her own years "under fire," spending over half a million dollars in legal fees and 12 years in court to protect her children. She addresses the heartbreaking reality that while she was their fierce protector, her nervous system was too overtaxed to be their "soft" mother. 
 
This is a must-listen for any parent in a NeuroDivergent family system who has felt the sting of being called "different" because they had to be a warrior. Learn how to offer yourself compassion for what you couldn't give while in survival mode and how to begin rebuilding the felt sense of safety today.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/