NeuroDivergent Relationships Podcast with Kathy Marshack, Ph.D.

The Hidden Tragedy of Autistic Women and Over-accommodation

While Autistic boys are often allowed to be the "eccentric nerds," autistic girls face a much harsher social reality: they must look and behave exactly like NeuroTypical girls or risk total social exile.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack uncovers the hidden tragedy of Autistic women who mask so well they fall into a dangerous trap of over-accommodation. From the woman who would work 15 hours a day for no credit to the 45-year-old suffering from severe hair loss due to a demanding boss, we explore the profound physical and emotional cost of "pretending to be normal." 
 
We also discuss the often-ignored link between Autism and hormonal regulation issues like PMDD. This episode is a call to action to help autistic women recognize their own needs, set firm boundaries, and stop the cycle of people-pleasing that leads to total system burnout.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

From Collapse to Growth: Becoming Empathy Triad Engaged

What happens after the system of masking collapses? For many, it feels like the end, but Dr. Marshack argues it is actually where the real work of the relationship begins.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack shares a profound letter from Richard, a NeuroDiverse husband in his 70s who has embraced his "EMD 0" status not as an excuse, but as a starting point for genuine growth. You will learn the 7-Step Interface Protocol, a roadmap designed to help both NeuroTypical and NeuroDiverse partners navigate the aftermath of a collapse. 
 
From building resilience to becoming "Empathy Triad Engaged," this episode provides the vocabulary and the framework needed to move from transactional behavior to a rebuilt, authentic life. As Richard reminds us: "Autism is not an excuse."
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Collapse of Masking

We often hear "unmasking" described as a liberating and joyful journey toward the authentic self. But for many in NeuroDivergent relationships, unmasking feels like a devastating collapse.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack uses General Systems Theory to explain why masking is a system "doomed to fail" as we mature. Masking works by managing bits of data, but it lacks the context sensitivity required for deep relational intimacy and complex life stages. When this system fails, triggered by burnout, retirement, or a partner's withdrawal, the result isn't always freedom; it is often depression, rage, and a sensation of the "brain on fire." 
 
Learn why transactional behavior cannot sustain a long-term partnership and discover the tools needed to move from a "meltdown that lasts for years" to a rebuilt, authentic life.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Why Regulated People Find Each Other Even Across the Miles

For many NeuroDivergent families, the holidays are less about joy and more about managing the "offline" state of the brain. When anxiety rises, thinking disappears—for both NeuroTypical and NeuroDiverse partners alike.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack shifts the focus from "fixing" symptoms to the power of regulation. She shares why regulated people tend to find each other across continents and why distance often clarifies rather than weakens a bond. 
 
You will learn the difference between mere survival and true "organization," why growth sometimes has a velocity that love struggles to match, and what it truly means to have a "spine" in your relationship. 
 
If you’re looking for deeper resonance in your community, this episode offers a roadmap for staying thoughtful under pressure and reclaiming your own nervous system.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Getting Under Their Skin: Why Your Light Provokes Their Shadow

Have you ever been "cancelled" or found yourself the target of an obsessive smear campaign?
 
In this episode, Dr. Kathy Marshack explores why some people react with such hostility to your presence, your truth, and your refusal to conform. Using the analogy of "Flying Monkeys" from The Wizard of Oz, she explains how toxic people recruit others to validate a version of reality where you are the problem. 
 
Dr. Marshack shares raw, personal examples of how she has lived "rent-free" in the heads of those who tried to erase her for decades—and why she now sees that obsession as a sign of her own power. 
 
If you’ve been told you’re "too much," this episode is your invitation to stop shrinking and start recognizing that the stronger the resistance, the closer you are to something meaningful.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Walk Up the Hill When Safety Isn't Enough

In this episode, Dr. Marshack dives into a raw and often unnamed aspect of Survivor's Guilt: the difference between providing physical safety and creating a felt sense of safety for those we love.
 
Through the story of her dog, Kokomo, and her friend Janine, Dr. Marshack reflects on her own years "under fire," spending over half a million dollars in legal fees and 12 years in court to protect her children. She addresses the heartbreaking reality that while she was their fierce protector, her nervous system was too overtaxed to be their "soft" mother. 
 
This is a must-listen for any parent in a NeuroDivergent family system who has felt the sting of being called "different" because they had to be a warrior. Learn how to offer yourself compassion for what you couldn't give while in survival mode and how to begin rebuilding the felt sense of safety today.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

When They Use Your Children Against You

What happens when the people trying to hurt you use your own children as their weapon?
 
Parental alienation is one of the most devastating experiences a parent can endure; it’s a loss that feels like your children are gone while they are still alive. In this episode, Dr. Marshack shares the raw and painful reality of her own divorce, where Howard’s smear campaign convinced her daughters that their mother was the enemy. 
 
She recounts the chilling moment her daughter Phoebe returned to an abusive relationship, and how the alienator's community reinforced the lies to keep her isolated. 
 
You will learn why the harder you fight for the truth, the more children may pull away, and how to find the resilience to carry on. This is an episode for anyone needing to hear the truth: Your worth is not defined by their rejection.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

The Envelope Was Addressed to God

This isn't a clinical teaching moment. This is a story about survival, awakening, and the "heroine’s journey" of reclaiming a life that was nearly eroded into non-existence.
 
In this deeply raw episode, Dr. Marshack shares a series of dreams—from repairing a rocket ship in a San Francisco basement to a terrifying roller coaster ride with God. She draws a parallel between the biological parasites that wrecked her health and the "relational parasites" that can invade a NeuroDivergent family system. 
 
You will hear about the creation of the Radiant Empathy video game, the significance of a linen-textured envelope, and the collection of "keys" that represent a lifetime of love, legacy, and self-recognition. If you have ever felt lost, sick, or invisible within your own life, this episode is a reminder that you are already God's partner, and the key to your future is already in your hand.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Don’t Run: The Real Story Behind ND/NT Heartbreak

When someone says, "If you're thinking of dating an 'Aspie,' run," it isn’t just a warning, it’s a cry of heartbreak and moral injury.
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack dives deep into the "Run!" reflex that dominates so many NeuroDivergent conversations. She explores the "operating system collisions" that leave the NeuroTypical partner feeling emotionally abandoned and the NeuroDiverse partner feeling shamed for how their brain processes the world. 
 
You'll learn about "Empathy Triad Blindness," the reality of moral injury on both sides, and why running is often a survival reflex rather than a strategy. Discover how Radiant Empathy allows you to stop abandoning yourself, whether you choose to stay, leave, or rebuild. 
 
This isn't about blaming; it's about finding your "True North" so you can stop running and start choosing.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/

Beyond the Quick Fix

Have you ever reached the point where you’ve done everything "right"—taken the courses, read the books, practiced the tools—and yet you still feel completely empty?
 
In this episode, Dr. Marshack explores the "exhaustion of the checklist." We dive into a heartfelt message from a community member who burned out on the Seven Steps, asking the critical question: What comes after the effort? 
 
This episode is an invitation to move beyond the quick fix and into the quiet, uncomfortable space where transformation actually happens. Learn why growth isn't a task list, why relief doesn't last when it's sought through external certainty, and how Radiant Empathy begins the moment you stop measuring progress and start experiencing presence. 
 
If you've done all the steps and still feel like you're failing, take heart, you aren't failing; you're arriving.
 
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If you are looking for more resources for NeuroDivergent relationships, start with Unlocking NeuroDivergent Relationships, a Comprehensive Resource Preview.
 
The Discussion Continues: Join the confidential Podcast After Party for this episode! Check the schedule at Thinkific and the Meetup group.
 
Future of Healing: Dr. Kathy is developing two innovative video games: Radiant Empathy: A Journey of Heartbreak and Healing and The University of NeuroDiversity: Radiant Empathy Campus. 
➡️ Find more resources at https://asd-ntrelationships.com/